Maybe a desk job is in order

I know I've been gone for a bit. Unfortunately, I have been dealing with the most awful bride of my entire career. It has gone past the point of being ridiculous or funny. She commissioned a custom dress with a time-line of only 2 1/2 months. For those who don't know, ordering a dress from a shop typically takes 4-6 months, and custom can take the same or longer. I agreed to do it because I am an idiot.
Initially, we were on the same page and things were going well. Then she started bring a camera to fittings and asking me to take pictures. Sure, no problem. She'd leave the fitting happy and then I would get an email the next day saying that she was unhappy with the pictures. Well, I am no photographer and my studio is made for sewing, not for taking nice pictures. Oh, and she's not a size 2, 5'11" model that's been photo-shopped.
I won't get into details about all the changes that have been made or how one week the skirt is too puffy and the next it's not puffy enough or how it's too long and I warn her that taking off more will make it too short but she insists and the next week she thinks it's too short. I won't even tell you the story of how she up and decided that it wasn't quite dark enough and could I just dye it darker (hell no!). I can't even laugh about it anymore. It makes me stabby and upset and I just want it to be done.
Yesterday was supposed to be the pickup fitting. Operative word: supposed. She was happy and smiling and wanted only a couple tweaks done to it, which I agreed to. I took a couple photos, explained why a certain thing was happening to the skirt in it, and sent her on her way finally happy that she had been reasonable.
This morning I woke up to an email complaining that the dress looked different in each photo and she wants to try it on with a crinoline (puffy slip, basically) and that the dress looks "awful" in the photos. Yes, she said awful.
My response was to tell her I don't just have crinolines lying around so she'd have to find her own and that it would make the skirt shorter and she'd just have to deal with that since I am not changing the length. I said some other stuff too, but I really don't even want to deal with it anymore.
People have asked me if I watch Say Yes to the Dress or Bridezillas. I don't. I live those shows and don't get paid to watch them. They hit too close to home and I don't find them entertaining or funny. It sends me into flashbacks of crap brides I've dealt with and some memories and people are better forgotten. It's funny from the outside, but there are times when being the one on the receiving end of that kind of crazy is too much to handle. I have thick skin; you have to in this industry. I can laugh off most situations (hence the blog) and join in with everyone in wondering how I can do this for a living, but know that it's not always so bad. Occasionally, though, there comes a bride that still finds a soft spot.

Gone for a bit!

I'm going to be off camping this week, but once I get back, oh the stories I have for you!

Not dead

But a certain bride is about to be. The short version is that a bride came to me asking me to recreate a designer dress. I agreed to do it and all happiness left me that day. We've had several fittings where she is fine with things and then the next day I receive an email listing out all the problems she has with the dress, most of which I already talked to her about at the aforementioned fitting.
I thought we were good, but the last week she has gone insane. All of a sudden she decided that she wasn't sure about the color of the dress. Well, kitten, I'm afraid that it isn't possible to take a giant silk gown and chuck it in a dye vat. Most recently she wanted to see if the ~200+ yards of ruffling could magically be gathered more tightly. Long story short, she is now deciding whether she wants me to remake the entire skirt. I wonder if any fast food places are hiring...