Saturday, May 29, 2010

The story behind the law

I suppose I should have given more detail on the previous post, but honestly I was extremely frustrated, tired, and ready to go celebrate national hamburger day.

This can go on my list of pet peeves and types of brides.

The indecisive bride.

She can't make up her mind about anything (hence the name) and is most commonly heard to say, "What do you think?" What do I think? I think that I am not the one getting married and I giant don't care! I just want to get home and have lunch before 4:00 p.m. (I did. I ate my lunch at 3:30). She will act like things are fine, and then after the fitting her mom has to call me and tell me that the bride isn't happy. She won't be able to tell me exactly what the problem is, but just keeps saying that her daughter isn't pleased.

Yesterday I had a fitting with an extremely petite girl. I had cut the bust on the dress down to fit her probably AA-sized chest. It was almost done and hooray it was looking really good. When she put on the dress it was sitting on her a bit high and she was clearly not pleased. I told her when she puts on the dress she has to kind of place her breasts into the chest of the dress and then zip it up (you ladies know what I'm talking about. Guys it isn't as sexy as it may sound). She did and lo and behold, dress sat perfectly. She still wasn't happy with how small her chest looked, which I had to figure out through her nonsense ramblings of "It's just...I don't know, you know. It's not," so I gave her some pads to put in. They made it look much better, and she seemed pleased. Her mom kept telling her how great it looked. Hooray! Fitting was over and I could go home.

Twenty minutes later my phone rings. Crap.

-Hi, it's brides mom. She was talking to me and she feels like the dress is still not looking quite right. Can we fix it before her bridal photos next week?
-Possibly. What is she not liking about it?
-Oh, I don't know, exactly. She feels like the boobs are too high or something. I think she is just being rediculous.
-Fair enough. So why didn't she say it at the fitting when I could have done something about it?
-She said that since you and I both thought it looked good, she couldn't say anything. I just don't want you to have to do a ton of work to the dress and then have to redo it because she is being weird.

At this point my eye rolling was going to cause a busted cappilary. It should be noted that her mom is awesome and has been good to work with. I'm just frustrated that my saturday is all screwed up now because princess tiny-boobs is not used to how a wedding dress looks. She wants me to try taking out the boning in the bust and see if that helps. I told her I could try, but once it was gone it's gone and I can't put it back.

Seriously, brides. If you can't vocalize what is bugging you, then you need some serious communication lessons. I understand that you are worried about using the wrong term or aren't really sure what about it is bugging you, but take a moment, really look, and then use your big girl words to tell me what you don't like because mind-reading doesn't go hand in hand with sewing. Shocking, I know. I would much rather hear someone say, "I don't know how to describe it exactly, but the bust seems a little wonkey," than, "Um...huh...It just...hmmm." If I wanted that sort of idiotic, stunted dialog, I would go rent Twilight.

Ladies, you need to be able to vocalize what you want. That is why you get crappy haircuts and then go cry about it later. When you're married are you going to have your mom call and try to tell your husband that you were just bugged because the toast crumbs on the floor make your delicate toes all owie. Put on your big girl panties and say something or swollow hard and deal with it. Gah!

Now if you'll excuse me, it's time I put my less-tiny chest in a bra, pull out my rosetta stone and try to decifer what this girl wants.


  1. What if I just had my mom call your mom? If that chick needs some extra boobage she can have a hunk of mine-I'm currently an E and I'm more than willing to share.

  2. National Hamburger Day, eh? Sounds awesome.

    But why do you need a bra on to look at a Rosetta stone? That doesn't make sense.

  3. Brides are generally selfish. Being told that it's their special day and that it should be exactly how they want it leads to craziness and stress for all parties involved. If they would focus more on the actual marriage--things would be much better. I'm tired of the wedding industry and how big it's gotten (I would add the funeral industry too, but that's a different blog!).


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