Saturday, May 29, 2010

The story behind the law

I suppose I should have given more detail on the previous post, but honestly I was extremely frustrated, tired, and ready to go celebrate national hamburger day.

This can go on my list of pet peeves and types of brides.

The indecisive bride.

She can't make up her mind about anything (hence the name) and is most commonly heard to say, "What do you think?" What do I think? I think that I am not the one getting married and I giant don't care! I just want to get home and have lunch before 4:00 p.m. (I did. I ate my lunch at 3:30). She will act like things are fine, and then after the fitting her mom has to call me and tell me that the bride isn't happy. She won't be able to tell me exactly what the problem is, but just keeps saying that her daughter isn't pleased.

Yesterday I had a fitting with an extremely petite girl. I had cut the bust on the dress down to fit her probably AA-sized chest. It was almost done and hooray it was looking really good. When she put on the dress it was sitting on her a bit high and she was clearly not pleased. I told her when she puts on the dress she has to kind of place her breasts into the chest of the dress and then zip it up (you ladies know what I'm talking about. Guys it isn't as sexy as it may sound). She did and lo and behold, dress sat perfectly. She still wasn't happy with how small her chest looked, which I had to figure out through her nonsense ramblings of "It's just...I don't know, you know. It's not," so I gave her some pads to put in. They made it look much better, and she seemed pleased. Her mom kept telling her how great it looked. Hooray! Fitting was over and I could go home.

Twenty minutes later my phone rings. Crap.

-Hi, it's brides mom. She was talking to me and she feels like the dress is still not looking quite right. Can we fix it before her bridal photos next week?
-Possibly. What is she not liking about it?
-Oh, I don't know, exactly. She feels like the boobs are too high or something. I think she is just being rediculous.
-Fair enough. So why didn't she say it at the fitting when I could have done something about it?
-She said that since you and I both thought it looked good, she couldn't say anything. I just don't want you to have to do a ton of work to the dress and then have to redo it because she is being weird.

At this point my eye rolling was going to cause a busted cappilary. It should be noted that her mom is awesome and has been good to work with. I'm just frustrated that my saturday is all screwed up now because princess tiny-boobs is not used to how a wedding dress looks. She wants me to try taking out the boning in the bust and see if that helps. I told her I could try, but once it was gone it's gone and I can't put it back.

Seriously, brides. If you can't vocalize what is bugging you, then you need some serious communication lessons. I understand that you are worried about using the wrong term or aren't really sure what about it is bugging you, but take a moment, really look, and then use your big girl words to tell me what you don't like because mind-reading doesn't go hand in hand with sewing. Shocking, I know. I would much rather hear someone say, "I don't know how to describe it exactly, but the bust seems a little wonkey," than, "Um...huh...It just...hmmm." If I wanted that sort of idiotic, stunted dialog, I would go rent Twilight.

Ladies, you need to be able to vocalize what you want. That is why you get crappy haircuts and then go cry about it later. When you're married are you going to have your mom call and try to tell your husband that you were just bugged because the toast crumbs on the floor make your delicate toes all owie. Put on your big girl panties and say something or swollow hard and deal with it. Gah!

Now if you'll excuse me, it's time I put my less-tiny chest in a bra, pull out my rosetta stone and try to decifer what this girl wants.

Friday, May 28, 2010

New law for brides

If you are not mature enough to tell me directly what you want changed on your dress, but need your mom to call me 20 minutes after our fitting and explain what was bugging you, you are not mature enough to get married.


Thursday, May 20, 2010

Broke the tether for a moment!

Yes, once again I have been too busy with "bridal emergencies" to do any posting. Still am, frankly, but I am sick of brides and their attitude that all possible moments must belong to them. Before the dogs sniff me out and make me work some more, I do have a story.
I had a bride who needed extensive work done to her dress. Typically, I request 3 weeks to do alterations, but can do it faster if need be. Operative word being NEED. This bride "needed" her dress done in about 9 days because she was going to be doing bridal photos (which are lame) by a certain date. I was already annoyed because I told her that wouldn't really fit in with my schedule and she would have to have bridals pushed back. After much insisting on her part, I relented (gah!) and said I could have it done in about 11 days.
I busted my ass, even staying up until 3 a.m. the night before so her dress would be done and ready. That day she shows up for her fitting and is thrilled with the dress. Good. I tell her the amount and ask if it will be cash or check. Then the following exchange happens:

Her: Oh, I forgot my checkbook.
Me: Well there is a bank just down the road. I'll wait.
Her: Well the dress isn't fully paid for yet, even.
Me: I am aware of that and you will have to settle that with the shop owner, but I am separate from her and you'll need to settle your bill with us both before the dress can go with you.
Her: Oh, I wouldn't dream of taking the dress before it was fully paid for! Besides*, I don't need it for another 2 weeks.

Then my head exploded. She had rescheduled her bridals and didn't bother to tell me. 3 a.m. people. 3 A.M.! Brides, this is why people hate you. You treat everyone like little peons that should hup-to in order for you to have your perfect day and screw them if they want to try to have a life outside of your butter cream-covered sparkle world of mystical wonder.

Crap. Now I want cake. And sleep.

* Yes, she said besides. I hate idiots.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

A word of advice

If you are having several custom bridesmaid dresses made and said bridesmaids are from out of town, maybe you could have them come in for a fitting sooner than the day before the wedding. Please. For the sake of the seamstress do not do this.
Yes, I have 5 bridesmaid dresses to make (well, two left) and I was given nothing more than a few measurements to make the entire dress. Granted, some people are awesome enough to be able to do this without any adjustments being made, but I am not one of those people. As you can probably guess, I won't be posting much this weekend.